A picture is worth 1000 Words

By: Dekeshia Alexander

This picture truly is worth 1000 words. You see, most people would look at this picture and comment on how cute the outfit may be. However, when I look at this picture I see a journey that comes full circle.

Here is a little back-story. We bought this outfit in 2015! 2015!! You see, we were just told by the doctor that our 3rd child was going to be a little girl. My husband had always wanted a girl so he was “over the moon” excited. My 2 boys were thrilled to finally have a little sister.  So on our trip to Switzerland, they chose her very first outfit!! It was a fun time of celebration as we imagined adding a girl to the bunch.  However, that excitement changed when 2 weeks later we found out that our “little girl” was actually a little boy!! Of course there was some disappointment, but we gathered ourselves and thought about the adventure of adding a 3rdson to our crew!! Ahoy Ahoy, we were about to have a boy!!

All of that excitement, and anticipation, changed on September 15, 2015 when I went into preterm labor. Our son, Titus, was born and fought for his life for 69 minutes! Losing him was one of the hardest things we as a family had to walk through. We were completely devastated, but we traveled the journey of grief and are still on the journey.  

Over time, we got rid of all of Titus’ belongings with the exception of this outfit.  I just could not bring myself to ever give it away. I have thought about it many times but always decided to put it back in the closet, far back in the corner. It was my little treasure that I carried around with me. In fact, it traveled from Germany - to Kentucky - to Maryland!

Today, as I pulled the outfit from the closet, my heart was filled with emotion. This outfit spoke more than 1000 words to me. It spoke of the journey our family has traveled and are still traveling. It spoke of the hope that can come from any storm.  It spoke of the faithfulness o of God to carry us through every trying time.  

During this month of October, which is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, I commit to speaking Titus’ name. I commit to sharing the story and legacy of Titus in an effort to give strength to my fellow grieving families, but also to show that there is HOPE. During this month as we bring awareness to the loss of our children, I also get to bring life as I am set to deliver our first baby girl this month. 

I share all of this to say that if you have lost a child in pregnancy or as an infant or at any stage of life - that matters; you can smile again and experience hope. You will have to travel the grief journey which will have its ups and downs. Some people may not understand your heartache, and your journey may look different than others but I have truly found there is a Hope in Jesus Christ that can carry you through. He has been our hope our Rock! When I put this outfit on our little girl, I’m almost certain I will cry because its more than an outfit and more than a picture. It’s a symbol of the journey our family has taken and how faithful God has been even in our most difficult times!! This month, speak their names, share their stories and remember there is hope.