Three Strikes

By: Elissa Boedeker

I don’t like baseball.

I am certain that I just ostracized myself from a large number of people, especially since we are in the postseason, but hear me out. Though I am not a fan of bat sports in general, there is an underlying idea from baseball that I really don’t like.

“Three strikes and you’re out.”

Baseball is THE American pastime. As a result, this phrase has permeated our culture. This is one aspect of a complex set of rules that governs baseball, and yet, this rule is known by people who don’t watch baseball.

Here is the struggle: what if you work really hard, put your heart and soul into something and THREE separate times, you fail. You can hear the ump in the back of your head, “You’re out!”

This was the lie I was believing. I had three pregnancy losses in a row. Each pregnancy made it farther in gestation than the previous, but each loss just broke my heart more and more and more...until it completely shattered. I thought for sure that I was done. I could never put myself in that vulnerable status again. I was ... out.

Fortunately, that is not the end of my story. I learned it wasn’t about me or even my body. There was only one area I was failing in: not relying on the Creator.

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

At the beginning of the third pregnancy that I lost, I was so desperate to not lose that baby that I took every possible medication to prevent loss. I was paranoid about every action, every food, every aspect of my daily life, but never once did I hand over that job of creating the child to the Creator of the universe.

“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” Colossians 1:16

I was destroyed through those losses. But God rebuilt me in a way that was completely dependent on and more reflective of Him. God had to break me to remake me. I had to become less so He could be more.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30

Maybe you have been broken repeatedly. Maybe you are hearing the ump in your heading yelling, “You’re out!” I have wonderful news for you: God is not done with you! It will not be anything like what you planned, but it will be glorious! But you have to let go. You have to be willing to drop ALL the broken pieces at His feet and allow Him to put you back together.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

I am not saying it is easy or quick. In fact, it is a hard and slow process to fully relinquish control. It is a daily choice. Maybe even a minute by minute choice. It requires prayer, God’s word, and the acceptance of Christ as your Savior, accompanied by the gift of the Holy Spirit.

It may seem odd, but I am thankful for spiritual journey that God put me on through the losses. It took that for me to realize that God wanted ALL of me devoted to Him: my plans, my family, my time, my worries, my dreams, etc.

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” Romans 12:1

And in case you have made it this far, and want to know, God did bless me with two more babies. It took all my faith to rest in Him during those months and allow Him to do the creating!

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23